Winter Wonderland
by Splatter Fall
Summary: The Straw Hats land on an uninhabited winter island. Snowballs fly, an ambush goes really, REALLY badly, and Usopp and Luffy end up in quite a jam...
1. Chapter 1

The Straw Hat crew's arrival at the winter island was a bit of a let-down. Luffy had been so excited when Zoro called down from the crow's nest about the approaching land that the captain had spent the hour it took to reach said land bouncing around the ship excitedly and generally annoying the crap out of his nakama. So yes, it was a let-down when they reached the shore and had to spend the remainder of the day, and the following night, buckled down against a nasty blizzard rather than exploring. The captain certainly had the energy to spare.

However, the next morning brought with it beautiful, if freezing, weather. Fresh snow blanketed every inch of visible land and Luffy was so ecstatic that he grabbed Usopp and dragged the sniper unceremoniously off the ship while shouting something about exploring and coming back later. Zoro had wandered off the ship as well, mostly ignoring shouts of "Don't go too far, you might get lost!" lest he do something the vocal cook would regret.

Luffy and Usopp spent the next few hours scouring the frozen landscape for signs of human life, then for animal life, then supplying the apparently-deserted island with a population of increasingly fantastic snow creatures when they failed to find said life.

After building a monster-sized snow dragon complete with tree branch antlers and and dark stone eyes and claws, Luffy had decided he was bored and it was time to do something else. Usopp had been the one to suggest their newest game...

Luffy clamped a hand over his mouth to ensure silence as Usopp packed a handful of snow into a tight ball. It simply wouldn't do to have a stray giggle alert their prey.

Usopp gave the snowball a quick check for flaws and then nodded shortly. It was done.

Thus armed, the pair snuck through the snow toward their target, using sparse foliage and the naturally hilly landscape to cover their presence.

Belly-crawling up a rise, the pair peered over the hill's crest into the clearing a short distance ahead of them. There, foolishly minding his own business was Zoro, training in the snow.

Luffy had to lock both hands over his mouth to silence even the slightest peep as Usopp gave his snowball a final once-over. Then the sniper peeked over the rise, raised his arm, took careful aim and let fly.

The snowball sailed through the winter air in a smooth arc, a soundless and deadly weapon.

Okay, maybe not deadly. But it was still satisfying beyond reason when the ball of tightly-packed snow connected with the back of Zoro's head and burst, showering the swordsman with ice.

Zoro took a startled step and lifted a hand to the back of his head as if he couldn't believe that had just happened.

How had he not noticed them sneaking up on him? Had he been too distracted training? Or maybe it simply hadn't registered as a threat, so he failed to react?

Well, no matter the reason, someone had pegged him. And judging by the shrieking laughter from not too far away, it was his captain and their sniper.

Oh, it was so on.

Atop the hill, Luffy was rolling in the snow, his and Usopp's raucous laughter shattering the silence of the white landscape. Their plan had gone off without a hitch! And Zoro's face was _priceless!_

An odd noise caught Usopp's attention though - a sound like snow being crunched together - and he got himself under control enough to peek over the hill's crest to find the source. Luffy's post-snowball-frag high was interrupted when his partner in crime tugged on his coat sleeve, and the captain blinked and turned over to follow the sniper's gaze to the clearing.

Oh, Luffy thought as he took in the scene, Zoro had spotted them.

This wasn't what alarmed the captain though. You see, Zoro wasn't charging up the hill after them with blades drawn and murder intended. They could easily run away from that. No, in fact Zoro seemed set to return fire. Fight snow with snow, if you will.

This would have been fine and dandy save for the fact that Zoro's snowball was the size of the Thousand Sunny's figurehead and Luffy looked over just in time to see him throw it.

At them.

Oh shit.

Needless to say the two snowball assassins made a tactical retreat which consisted of turning tail and running like bats out of hell back down the hill again. Oh, and screaming. Can't forget the screaming. Very dignified, the screaming.

This quick retreat saved their skins... or so they thought. Sadly the Demon Snowball (as Usopp had immediately dubbed it) disagreed. It reached its apex at the top of the hill and grazed the snowy ground, slowing to a near stand-still. It seemed to hesitate, just long enough that Luffy and Usopp slowed their pace to look back at it, wondering if it would move, then the monster ball of snow tipped that last necessary inch and came careening down the hill after the pair, growing in size as it rolled.

Luffy and Usopp, being the hardened winter warriors that they were, shrieked and fled.

Back in the clearing, Zoro listened with a satisfied smile. Voices really carried in this bleak landscape, he thought.

~ ;3 ~

There was like, ZERO dialogue here. XD

Okay. EXPLANATION TIEM!

This was another idea that just sort of jumped on me, kind of like Once Upon a Time.

I was sitting at this theme park with my sister between rides, and it was EFFING COLD, and she said something that made me think of snowballs, and then I thought, "pfft, Luffy would be AWESOME at snowball fights."  
THEN I thought, "and he'd prolly try to attack Zoro. And Zoro would get mad. But Zoro could make like, HUGE snowballs 'cause he's freakishly strong."

AND LOLOLOL my sister agreed and so she told me I had to at least write a little one-shot because the visual was awesome. And... now it has turned into a multi-chapter story. XD Should span the course of a whole day.

This story's meant to be an easy read, for the sake of comedy and general ridiculousness. XD I hope you like it. :'D


	2. Chapter 2

"Where are we?"

That was never a good question to hear asked when standing in the middle of a vast, barren, frozen valley. But Luffy had decided it was necessary after wandering around for what seemed like _forever_.

Now, you might ask, how did the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates and his sniper end up in the vast, barren, frozen valley?

Put simply, fleeing the Demon Snowball hadn't gone as planned. As it turned out, running in snow was harder than one might think, and with its increased size and speed the monster ball of snow had eventually caught up with its prey, squashed them, and then rolled itself, along with its passengers, right off a cliff.

Usopp was happy to be alive. He would have been happier if he knew where the hell he was.

"I don't know," the sniper said as he crossed his arms and eyed the distant scenery with annoyance. Stupid scenery with its whiteness.

"I'm hungry," Luffy pouted, clasping his hands behind his head and kicking snow into the deep footprints he had left in his wake.

"Well then you better start looking for food, 'cause I don't have any," Usopp informed him, and Luffy huffed. "Now, with my superior navigational skills I shall find our way back to the ship!"

"You said that an hour ago," Luffy pointed out. Usopp threw a snowball at him.

----

Back on the Thousand Sunny, Nami sat comfortably in a chair on the lawn and studied her newspaper. Next to her on a small table was a steaming mug of hot chocolate, courtesy of Sanji. On the other side of the table was Robin, similarly comfortable but with a book instead.

Chopper was playing in the snow a short distance from the ship when Zoro wandered back into view.

The little doctor perked up, then tipped his head quizzically at the swordsman. "Where're Luffy and Usopp?"

Zoro shrugged. "Dunno." Honestly.

"Weren't they with you?" Chopper asked as he patted his short little snowman into shape.

"Nope," Zoro said, and walked by the reindeer back to the ship.

"Oh well," Chopper said, and stuck a carrot on his snowman's face for a nose.

We can all be sure that the little doctor's concern for his absent nakama warmed their spirits, wherever they were.

----

"We're gonna _freeeeeeze_ to death!" Luffy whined as he hopped through the knee-deep snow after Usopp, who was leading the way 'towards the ship.'

The sniper sniffed and rubbed his arms. "I'm not cold."

"You're shivering," Luffy informed him.

"They're sympathy shivers. For you," Usopp said.

"Oooohh," Luffy nodded.

Usopp suddenly stopped walking and Luffy crashed into his back, sending them both tumbling face-first into the snow.

"Ow ow ow! Why'd you stop?" Luffy groused, hauling himself up and smacking snow off his coat.

"Mmmff mmnnnn mmmmmfffmmm," Usopp said.

"... What?" Luffy stared, and then Usopp jerked his head out of the snow and repeated, "I heard something."

"Like what?" Luffy asked, looking around. "There's nothing here."

It was true; to their direct left was the steep incline of the mountain and to the other side was the desolate landscape with its few leafless trees.

"Dunno, like a rumbling," Usopp said with a shrug as he, too, rid himself of clingy snow.

"Probably your stomach," Luffy said sagely, stroking his chin.

"Was not," Usopp snorted. "It sounded almost like -"

The rumbling grew louder. It was coming from their left.

Both men looked up the mountain to see a growing wall of pure white charging down the mountainside towards them.

"- An avalanche?" Luffy finished with a wide grin, feeling clever.

"Yeah, an avalanche," Usopp concurred with a nod.

Pause.

"OHMYGODAVALANCHERUUUUN!"

----

Nami folded her paper and set it aside as Sanji refreshed her hot chocolate. She fluffed the collar of her coat, eyes scanning the deck, and only then did she realize something was missing.

How could she have overlooked something so important?!

"We should have cookies," Nami said with a sharp nod, thumping one closed fist into the opposite palm.

"That sounds wonderful, navigator-san," Robin agreed.

Sanji twirled and held the small silver tray he carried against his chest. "Coming right up, Nami-swan! Robin-chwan!"

Across he deck, Zoro snorted. Then had to dive sideways to avoid the silver tray which embedded itself in the side of the ship he'd been resting against, right about where his head had been. "WHAT THE HELL?! You bastard--"

Sadly Sanji had already twirled his way to the kitchen, so the swordsman's cursing failed to reach him.

Nami sighed contentedly and cuddled into her coat.

----

If anyone had been present to witness the avalanche, they probably would have laughed. Watching the two pirates trying to shuffle away from the coming rush of snow was just that funny.

The fact that running in snow was difficult was simply reaffirmed as the pair attempted to flee, so despite their best efforts, Luffy and Usopp were soon overcome and disappeared from view under the crushing wave of the avalanche.

All was still for the span of about a minute after the last of the falling ice had settled. The rumbling quieted, and somewhere, a bird "caw"ed.

Luffy's head broke the surface and he gasped for breath. Being run over by an avalanche was less fun than it sounded like, he decided.

But he was aliiiiive! ... And aloooooone.

Luffy screwed his face up and fished around in the snow next to him until his hand found something to grip, and then he pulled hard.

Usopp's head popped up through the snow. "DON'T PULL MY NOSE!!" he sputtered, swatting Luffy's hand away from his face.

"You're aliiiiive!" Luffy informed his companion cheerfully, arms thrown up.

Usopp looked down at himself with a surprised blink to see that he was, indeed, alive. Then he set to work freeing himself from the snow.

A short time later, once both men were on their feet and had shaken off all of the snow that clung to their clothes, Luffy shaded his eyes with a hand and surveyed their surroundings. "Yup."

"What?" Usopp looked to his captain.

"Next time there's an avalanche, I need a sled."

They were going to die.

~ ;3 ~

Told ya. :'D  
LOOK, ohemgii, it's the elusive second chapter in it's natural habitat. Quickly, capture it for it may never rear its head again!  
8D Well, this was fun to write, I'll admit. It feels kind of weird to e writing a follow-up chapter for anything... :O I could fool myself into thinking I'm... I'm... PRODUCTIVE! OHGASP!

XD We'll see what happens.

8D And thanks so much for the reviews, guys! They made me all squee and happy and totally helped me continue!!


	3. Chapter 3

"Gimme your coat."

"No chance."

"Gimmeeeeeee."

"No!"

"Captain's orders."

"Captain's orders are null and void when I'm freezing to death."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"YES-HUH!"

"NUH! UH!"

"We need to find shelter!" Usopp said suddenly.

"NUH UH-- wait, what?" Luffy stared at the sniper.

"Somewhere out of the wind," Usopp continued. "We need to warm up."

In their travel, Usopp had eventually decided that heading to higher ground would better their chances of finding their way back. They had fallen off a cliff to get to the valley, so to find their path back they had to go back _up,_ right?  
So the pair had left the desolate (also vast, barren, and frozen) valley behind and now found themselves hiking through a forest comprised of scraggly trees that were barely clinging to life in the harsh winter. Despite their lack of foliage, their sheer number made it difficult to see the end of the forest.  
The forest itself was walled on one side by a sheer face of dark rock. The two pirates were using it as a guide to keep walking in a straight line.

"Good idea," Luffy grinned. Regaining the feeling in his toes sounded pretty spiffy. "Like a cave or something?" He paused and cast a searching glance over his surroundings.

"That would be perfect," Usopp said, rubbing his arms and trudging through the snow. "But I don't think we'll be lucky enough to stumble across a--"

"CAAAA~AAAAVE!" Luffy sing-songed somewhere behind the sniper.

"Yes, a cave." Usopp sighed, and his breath fogged depressingly, so he swatted at it with a gloved hand.

"No, I mean I found one," Luffy said, and Usopp whirled around to look his way. Sure enough, Luffy stood kicking snow away from the mouth of what seemed to be a large cave cut into the rock wall. It had been obscured by trees and snowfall.

"Holy crap! How did you do that?" Usopp gaped at his captain.

"Iunno," Luffy said with a half shrug. "My superior navigational skills must've--"

"Shut up."

----

Inside the cave it was pitch dark. So dark that you couldn't possibly see your hand in front of your face.

Luffy proved this by smacking Usopp in the face.

"ACK! Luffy! What was that for?" Usopp snapped, rubbing his cheek and glaring into the darkness in his captain's general direction. He thought.

"I was just making sure I wasn't the only one who's gone blind," Luffy said grimly.

Usopp had to pause and give that a moment. Okay. "C'mon, a little deeper and we'll be away from all the wind."

A few minutes later, Usopp and Luffy settled down on the cave floor in a narrow section of tunnel. It was warmer in here, strangely. Maybe it was just because they were out of the wind...

Usopp's thoughts were interrupted when Luffy whined, "Usopp, quit poking me!"

"I'm not," the sniper said. "And anyway, you're the one breathing your nasty breath all over me."

"Neh?" Luffy sounded confused. Usopp decided that was normal enough, "I said, you're breathing on--"

"I'm not breathing on you," Luffy said, his tone carrying a frown.

Usopp stared into the darkness in front of him. "I'm... not poking you."

Both men stilled. Then they simultaneously reached out into the blind darkness.

Their seeking hands met something furry. And warm.

Well that explained the comfortable temperature in the tunnel.

"Usopp?"

"Y-yeah, L-Luffy?" the sniper stammered in barely-controlled panic.

"You really need to shave."

Usopp made an affronted sound. "That's not me!"

"Eh? Then do I need to shave?"

"..."

Their furry friend decided that was a good moment to step into the conversation, and let out a deep, menacing growl.

Outside, an odd noise permeated the serene forest. A sound like voices muffled by distance, slowly growing in volume until--

Luffy and Usopp ran screaming out of the cave, arms thrown in the air, their pace no longer impeded by the snow. Really it was like watching Brooke run across water. They just skimmed over the surface.

The reason for this burst out of the cave not a moment later, and the reason was big. It looked sort of human, standing about the height of Luffy and Usopp stacked one atop the other, but much, MUCH broader, and covered in white fur. Its arms were like tree trunks and each long finger was tipped with a wicked claw.

Its black eyes landed on the fleeing Straw Hats and the creature roared, baring long, jagged teeth, and gave chase.

Well, at least they had finally found life. Even if it WAS an angry yeti.

----

In the crow's nest of the Thousand Sunny, Zoro stretched and yawned as recovery from his nap. Then with a short look out the window to check if Chopper was still playing with his snowman, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

----

"WE'RE GONNA DIIIIIIEEEEEE!!"

Usopp's voice echoed through the forest, followed by a deafening roar. How they had managed to avoid being caught and eaten thus far was a mystery; while they had to duck around trees, the yeti just back-handed the obstacles out of its path, leaving a trail of splintered plant life in its wake.

"Just run faster!" Luffy said cleverly.

"How can I run faster?!" Usopp snapped. His lungs were about to explode!

"Uhm, if you don't, the yeti's probably going to eat you," his captain replied with a blink.

Usopp ran faster.

"Where are we going?" Luffy asked, narrowly avoiding introducing his face to a tree.

"I have no idea!" Usopp yelled desperately. "Just keep going there!"

"What about there?"

"What?" Usopp had to yell louder to be heard over another yeti shriek.

"There!" Luffy said, and pointed. They were still running parallel to the steep wall of jagged rock, and ahead of them was a very narrow gap just wide enough that they might fit through it, but the yeti most assuredly would _not_. Light shone through from the other side.

"Yes! There!" Usopp could have kissed his captain.

"What?"

Usopp decided he'd rather let the yeti eat him.

The sniper changed directions and made for the gap, and Luffy stuck close behind him. But the yeti was catching up, and as the creature made a quick lunge for its prey its claws grazed the hood of Luffy's coat and ripped the material to ribbons.

Luffy yelped and shoved Usopp forward in his haste, sending them both careening through the gap in the rock wall and rolling out the other side rather gracelessly.

The yeti crashed into the too-narrow opening and let out a frustrated roar, trying to reach for the two men.

Luffy sat in the snow and stared at the creature through the gap for a stunned moment, then burst out laughing.

"HA! Stupid yeti! See if you can get us now!"

"Uh, Luffy, maybe that isn't a good idea?" Usopp said in a hasty whisper.

"Why not?" Luffy was now making weird faces at the beast.

"It's already trying to eat us!" Usopp squawked.

"Yeah, but it can't _get_ us!" Luffy pointed out. Duh.

"Haven't you ever seen those stories where an enraged beast chases stranded travelers across miles and miles of land, just to seek revenge?!" Usopp said in a near panic, gesturing frantically.

Luffy stared. "Nope."

Usopp smacked his own forehead and pulled Luffy away from the rock wall. "Come on."

Sadly, in a display of their terrible luck that day, his first step after turning around left his outstretched foot hanging in open air with nothing to actually step _on, _because their savior of a gap had opened up onto a narrow ledge that fell steeply to a canyon. Without a proper look, the snowy ledge the pirates stood on and equally snowy canyon walls gave the illusion of solid ground.

There was an infinitely short moment in which Usopp managed to think "Oh shit" before he pitched off yet another cliff. And took Luffy down with him.

Usopp was screaming bloody murder. Luffy just sniffed and flung a stretchy arm up to grab the edge of the cliff. Silly Usopp, always scared when he didn't need to--

The snow crumbled under Luffy's seeking fingers and they kept falling.

Luffy then joined Usopp in screaming.

On the other side of the wall, the yeti watched the pair drop out of sight with a sick sense of satisfaction before disappearing from the narrow gap.

~ ;3 ~

XDDD I am _so_ mean to these guys. It's not that I don't like them! It's just that it's _so easy._

Oh, I'm having fun with this. :v And as you can probably guess, this is not the last we will see of our buddy the yeti.  
But I still have to figure out the ending! I have two in mind... oh no, wait, three possible endings. XD I'll just have to see what happens!


	4. Chapter 4

Little light fell in the depths of the canyon, and the near-black color of the stone walls themselves made the chasm that much darker. The river that coursed between the steep rock walls seemed pitch black due to this lack of light, and if it weren't for the faint glimmer of ripples of the water's surface, the river would look like a bottomless void

The wind that cut between the high rock walls could chill even the most well-prepared traveler to the bone, and yet it was in this gloomy landscape that a small red bird chirped as it hopped from one thin ledge to the next, picking small pieces of debris from the water's surface in a desperate search for food. The river was slow-moving, and thus the little bird wasn't in any danger of falling in and being washed away. It could just hop right back out of it needed to.

Not that it planned on falling in. That water was _cooooold_.

This fact was proven when something -- no, two somethings -- fell screaming from somewhere high above and drenched the tiny bird with a wave of icy water on impact.

The bird stood stunned for a moment, beak open, little wings outstretched, staring at the disturbed surface of the river. Then it squawked and flailed when one of the fallen things splashed into view and started sputtering.

Usopp scraped his hair back from his face and tried to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Had they actually fallen off another cliff?

Was he actually ALIVE AGAIN?

Then the sniper remembered something. "ACK, LUFFY!"

A short time later, Usopp hauled Luffy's dead weight to the surface and the captain coughed and gasped. "Drowning--"

"No, I think we're okay," Usopp said as he took stock of himself. "Surprisingly."

"Oh." Luffy adjusted his hold on his human life-raft, then looked to his left when he heard an odd chirping.

The little bird stood on its rock outcropping, squawking little birdy curses at them. Well, we can assume that's what it was doing. It couldn't actually speak.

"MEAT!" Luffy cried enthusiastically and dove toward the bird.

He sank like a rock. Or a hammer, more accurately.

Usopp took a moment to wonder if he had done something wrong in a past life to deserve this, then dove after his captain for the second time.

Back at the point of impact the tiny, drenched bird was staring after the humans with a mixture of anger and depression in its little birdy eyes. But movement caught its attention, and when it looked over to see a small fish that had been washed onto its rocky ledge when the two men splashed into the river, the bird's eyes filled with grateful, joyous tears.

Food? Those weird humans had saved his life! And here he was, wishing on them a horrible death! (We can assume.)

The bird's thankful chirping failed to reach Usopp and Luffy as they were propelled downstream.

----

A while later found the two pirates still floating downstream despite many attempts to climb out of the frigid water. The rock walls had proven too steep to scale.

Now Luffy hummed as he clung to Usopp's shoulders and the sniper doggy-paddled with the current. "See anything yet?"

"Water. And cliff," Usopp said glumly.

"Yeah, me too." Luffy sighed. "And I'm still hungry."

"You should be more worried about freezing to death! Or drowning!" Usopp squawked.

"I'll starve before that!" Luffy said morosely.

The two floated on.

----

Back on the Thousand Sunny, Sanji wasn't sure what to do with himself. Midday was setting in and there was no Luffy charging into his kitchen with demanding cries of "FOOOOOOOD!"

The brief question of where the hell the captain was flitted through the blond's head, but was quickly pushed aside when he realized what Luffy's absence meant.

He could cook, undisturbed, all he wanted. He could try new recipes without being interrupted in the middle of his work. He had - gasp - PEACE!!

Sanji started tearing up in much the same way the little red bird in the canyon had.

----

Luffy wasn't sure how long they floated in the river before the canyon walls tapered off and Usopp was able to paddle them to the shore, but it couldn't have been too long, because they hadn't frozen to death!

It took a combined effort for the pirates to drag themselves out of the water and onto the rocky shore, and Usopp about sobbed with relief.

"F-f-f-fire n-n-n-now!" Luffy said through chattering teeth, hopping in place and trying to return feeling to his limbs.

Doing much the same dance once he was on his feet, Usopp nodded and they both headed for the sparse tree line.

"If we follow the river, think we'll find our way back to the ship?" Luffy asked a short time later as he huddled close to the sizable fire they had managed to build. Lighting it had been a stroke of dumb luck; Usopp had insisted rubbing two sticks together would produce a spark and set to prove it as Luffy looked on doubtfully.

Ten minutes of fruitless effort later and the sniper had given up all hope and thrown the sticks into the wood pile. But, clinging to one of the sticks had been a tiny ember intent on life, and the log pile had gone up in a startling WHOOSH of flame.

Now the pirates were actually pretty comfortable, letting their clothes dry laid out on rocks near the blaze.

"You know, that's actually a really good idea?" Usopp regarded his captain with surprise after Luffy posed his question.

Luffy grinned. "I'm full of them."

Usopp decided not to comment and rubbed his hands together in the fire's warmth. He could feel his fingers again! "Let's rest and warm up, then we'll head downstream."

"Kay." Luffy yawned and after giving his coat a quick dryness-check, stretched out next to the fire with his head pillowed on his arms.

~ ;3 ~

XD Aw, they didn't suffer too badly in this chapter. See? I'm kind!  
O3o I'm still working on how to end this... shushdon'tjudgeme.


	5. Chapter 5

Nami hummed a happy tune as she drew pen over parchment. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten so much work done in such a short amount of time! Letting Usopp and Luffy run off to explore gave her the peace and quiet she needed to catch up on her maps.

Setting her pen down and crossing the room for fresh parchment, Nami kept humming and munched on one of Sanji's cookies, making an appreciative sound in the back of her throat for its general yumminess.

Out on deck, Zoro was sprawled in a sunny spot asleep and Chopper was perched on the railing facing the water next to Franky, who was showing the little reindeer how to operate the air-powered snowball cannon he had built.

"And I even made floating targets to shoot at," Franky informed his audience with much satisfaction, and Chopper seemed even _more_ delighted, if that was physically possible.

Robin looked on with a smile before stepping into the galley. The table was set with an impressive spread and Sanji was just pulling something out of the oven when Robin entered.

He greeted her with a bright smile. "Wonderful timing, Robin-chwan~! Lunch is ready," he informed the archaeologist as he worked.

"Oh? I'll tell everyone then," Robin offered, and had turned to open the door to do just that when Sanji stopped her. "No no, you sit. I'll get everyone."

Robin had to smile as she was guided to the table – the cook even pulled her chair out for her - and then watched as Sanji sauntered over to the door to go and gather the crew.

~ ;3 ~

Lunch, Luffy thought wistfully, was like a fleeting memory. It was as if he could see Lunch waving to him as it sailed away into the sunset, never to return, and he was stranded onshore powerless to stop it.

"Luffy?" The captain could swear he heard Lunch calling his name...

"Luffy!" Oh wait, that was Usopp.

"Hm?" Luffy voiced distractedly.

"You're chewing on my arm," Usopp told him in a blank tone.

"Oh." Luffy released the sniper with a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

They had been walking for quite a while now, and the scenery never seemed to change; dead trees scattered across white, the river to one side providing gentle background noise to the otherwise-silent landscape.

Usopp swore if he was out there much longer he would go snow blind.

Behind him, Luffy was humming some tuneless song as he walked, glad to be out of the snow and instead on the frozen ground of the riverbank. He was still cold, but as least his legs weren't sinking anymore. "How much longer?"

"Can't be much farther," Usopp said, hoping to stop the constant repetition of the question before it started.

"What do you mean?" Luffy tipped his head at the sniper.

"Well there's only so much land on an island!" Usopp declared, as if that made perfect sense. "And since we've walked so far, there can't be much left."

Luffy was looking hopeful again. "You're right! We'll find the ocean in no time."

Usopp's lips twitched into a grin as Luffy trudged ahead of him, mood restored. The captain's cheer was contagious and served to improve Usopp's dismal outlook immensely. It could be worse, right?

~ ;3 ~

Lunch wrapped up and Sanji watched as the crew filed back out of the galley. Chopper was chattering excitedly about how he and Franky were going to test the air cannon _finally_ and it was going to be _so cool, _and his thrilled behavior was turning it into quite the event. Even Nami had decided to go and watch rather than immediately returning to her work.

Sanji waited until the last minute, just as Zoro was about to follow the others out, to get the swordsman's attention; "Oi, you're on dish duty."

Zoro paused and turned a scowl on the cook. "Can't you do it?" Like he didn't have better things to do than wash dishes.

"Do you have anything better to do?" Sanji sniped as he turned to start clearing the table.

Zoro scowled harder since honestly _no, _he didn't, but it was the principal of the thing, and with a muttered curse he headed for the sink.

Luckily Zoro was spared this menial task by the most unlikely of events – well, it might have been unlikely on any _other_ ship, it was actually pretty common aboard the Sunny – but as it was it still served to halt any dish-washing that might have occurred. __

Something on deck exploded.

Zoro and Sanji both jumped about half a foot, and a plate met its end when the swordsman lost his grip on it and it clattered into the sink and broke into about a thousand pieces.

"What the hell?" Sanji snapped.

Zoro looked quickly to the door. "I don't know! It sounded like--"

"No, idiot! You broke the dish!" Sanji muttered something under his breath and started picking through the shards.

Zoro stared at the cook blankly, then darted out of the galley because obviously he was the only one there with common sense.__

The lawn held a rather interesting scene. The railing where Franky's air cannon had rested now held what could have been the canon at one time, but was now a twisted hunk of metal.

Nami and Robin had had enough sense to take cover behind the mast when the first signs of trouble started and were now studying the scene with exasperation and interest, respectively.

But Chopper and Franky were the best part, as they had been standing the closest to the cannon when it exploded; the shipwright's hair was blown back in a sort of backward version of its usual style, and Chopper's fur looked like he had been caught in a wind tunnel for a good few hours.

Zoro gave them his best "what the hell" expression and waited for an explanation.

"It blew up!" Chopper exclaimed, as if no one had noticed this.

"That-- It couldn't-- There's just no way!" Franky rushed over to the mangled corpse of his air cannon and started an autopsy. Poor cannon.

Robin watched for a moment, and then turned her attention to Chopper as a few spare arms popped out of the deck around the doctor's feet and started smoothing his fur down to its normal state.

For no other reason than to avoid going back into the kitchen and having to do dishes, Zoro walked over to nudge a piece of broken air cannon with a booted foot. "What do you think caused it?"

"I'm not sure yet," Franky said as he studied the barrel, which had been peeled back in an admittedly hilarious way. Luffy might have likened its new form to a steel banana. Luckily everyone currently on-scene had more self control. "It might have been too powerful. Or maybe the snowballs were too big, or--" The shipwright stopped talking abruptly, and everyone looked his way.

Franky was holding up something small and white. "... What is this?"

"It looks like a chicken bone," Chopper said, completely lost as he gazed at the piece of offending chicken.

Nami plucked the bone from Franky's fingers and lifted it for a brief examination. "Weren't you working on this thing last night during the storm?" Franky nodded, still dumb-founded. "Right. And didn't Luffy raid the kitchen when we first got here?"

"Yeah!" Chopper said quickly. "He stole a bunch of meat, then ran away and hid somewhere so Sanji couldn't find him, and..."

"Hid the evidence?" Zoro finished for the doctor and earned a hesitant nod. Chopper had the feeling he'd just thrown their captain under a bus, so to speak.

An interesting tic had formed in Franky's forehead over the course of the conversation. "He stuffed a chicken bone in my air canon?" His tone still held an edge of disbelief.

"Would you put it past him?" Nami asked simply as she chucked the bone overboard and folded her arms loosely.

"That's just..." Franky groped for the appropriate word, then his shoulders slumped and he shook his head, "... so not super."

Nami tried desperately not to laugh. It was very, very difficult._  
_

~ ;3 ~

"Did you just hear something?" Usopp asked with a confused frown as he stopped his trek along the riverbank.

"Don't _say_ that!" Luffy cried. "Every time you say that, something bad happens!"

Usopp looked offended. "Does not!"

Luffy counted on his fingers, "Demon Snowball, avalanche, yeti."

"You heard the yeti too!" Usopp countered.

"Doesn't matter. Three strikes!" Luffy said sternly and folded his arms.

"Oh would you stop it," Usopp waved him away irritably. "It sounded like an explosion."

"Really?!" Luffy gasped and looked around him as if he expected the Thousand Sunny to come sailing up the river. Exploding.

Usopp was looking off in the direction the noise had come from, his goggles down over his eyes. "Yeah, but it sounded kind of far away... _Ack!_" This startled sound was the response to Luffy snatching his arm and running full-tilt in the direction Usopp had been looking.

"Luffy! Slow down!" Usopp cried.

"I bet it was them!" Luffy said eagerly, because obviously if something had blown up his nakama were behind it.

"You're going to run into something and kill us both!" Usopp said quickly as he hopped over a large rock. When Luffy failed to slow his pace, Usopp dug his feet into the ground and hauled the captain to a stop. He refused to survive all of that just to run into a tree and die of smush!

Luffy ended up running ahead and stretching his arm about ten feet, but since Usopp wasn't going anywhere the captain snapped back and ended up flat on the ground.

He blinked up at Usopp. "Why'd you stop?"

Usopp stared down a his captain, looking annoyed. "I just told you!" he squawked, then took a slow breath. "We have to remain calm," the sniper said reasonably as Luffy got to his feet and dusted off. "We could get lost again if we just go running off at the slightest thing."

Oddly, Luffy seemed to be looking _past _him rather than at him, and didn't seem to be paying much attention to Usopp's words despite his efforts to be mature. "Uh, Usopp..."

Usopp made a dismissive gesture. "Luffy, listen. You have to stop running around! You'll only make--"

"Usopp," Luffy said, his voice sounding more concerned as he looked over Usopp's shoulder.

"No, you-- What?!" Usopp finally snapped when the captain started pointing frantically past him, and spun around to see what was so interesting that Luffy couldn't even listen to--

Yeti.

The yeti stood a few yards downstream, staring at them with murderous eyes. Luffy had seen it stalk out of the trees while Usopp was talking.

The sniper screamed and dove behind Luffy. "I _told_ you so! It followed us here!" What was that thing's _problem?!_

The yeti faced the pirates and let out a threatening growl, and Luffy squared his shoulders in response.

Usopp noticed this and '_eep_'ed. "Luffy, what are you doing?"

"He's between us and our nakama," Luffy said, all signs of humor gone from his voice and his eyes narrowed faintly. "I'm gonna move him."

Usopp gulped and reluctantly moved to stand beside his captain, rather than behind him. Trust Luffy to be crazy enough to challenge a yeti to a fight... But then again, the yeti had chased them all over this island and Usopp was just as fed up with it as his captain.

"Th-then I'm going to help!" He put on a brave face, but his legs were shaking in a manner that should have rendered him unable to stand.

Luffy flashed a quick grin at the sniper, and then faced the yeti. The creature practically sneered at the humans. They were half its size and built like they were made of twigs. Pathetic.

With a roar that echoed across the frozen landscape the yeti charged them, effectively starting the fight.

Luffy drew a hand back, braced his feet and yelled over the yeti's roar, "Gomu Gomu no... PISTOL!"

Luffy's arm shot out infront of him, his fist traveling with enough force that small bits of debris flew off the frozen riverbank. When the Straw Hat captain's attack hit its target - the center of the yeti's chest - Usopp was sure that was the end of it and let out a cheer.

The yeti seemed less excited. Infact, it was unmoved. Small black eyes flickered down to where Luffy's fist rested against its broad chest, then to the fist's owner.

Luffy looked as stunned as Usopp, both men standing dumb-founded and gaping at the yeti. It hadn't moved an inch!

The yeti snorted, grabbed Luffy's arm and gave a mighty pull. Luffy made a startled sound and in the next moment he was flying through the air. He crashed through one of the black trees nearby, shattering it to splinters, and finally came to a stop when he collided with a second tree.

He was stuck for a moment, upside-down, just blinking at the world from that angle. "Hey Usopp?"

Usopp opened his mouth, closed it, opened it, closed it, and was finally able to shake off his gaping fish impression long enough to manage an, "Uh huh?"

Luffy looked thoughtful. And upside-down. "I think maybe we should run."

Usopp was about to agree whole-heartedly, but the yeti shrieked and charged at the sniper.

Usopp screamed and ran for Luffy. He didn't even have his sling shot with him! How was he supposed to fight back against that thing?

He managed to reach Luffy and yank him off the tree in passing, and both pirates took off down the river bank as quickly as their legs would carry them.

"Why didn't my punch hurt it?" Luffy shouted, completely at a loss since, well, things like that just didn't _happen._

"Because it's a demon yeti!" Usopp wailed.

"RAWR!" The yeti supplied. He was a great conversationalist.

Usopp yelped and ducked as another swipe of yeti claws just missed his head, but in doing this he tripped on one of the rocks jutting out of the frozen ground and was sent sprawling.

"Usopp!" Luffy skid and tripped to a stop, and just as the yeti was diving for the sniper, Luffy lunged in between them to block the attack.

And he stood there, braced for impact, eyes shut, for what seemed like an eternity.

… ...

Why wasn't he being mauled yet?

Luffy cracked open an eye to see what was happening, and his mouth fell open at what he saw.

The yeti was stumbling around, growling and snarling and swiping ineffectively at its newest enemy; a tiny red bird. The bird was swooping and pecking at the yeti's head, menacing it with death from above.

Luffy stared. Usopp stared. They exchanged a look, then stared some more.

The yeti gave a frustrated snarl and finally broke free of the bird's attack to run off into the trees. The last either pirate heard of it was a final echoing roar, and then it was gone.

Luffy and Usopp were so stunned that they just gazed after the beast, unmoving.

The little bird fluttered around, and then chirped its way over to perch on Luffy's shoulder, and that was enough to get Usopp to snap back to reality and turn to the bird. It only took him that one good look to recognize it.

"Hey!" He pointed at the red poof of feathers. "It's that bird from the river! The one that was cursing us out!" (He assumed.)

Luffy blinked and looked at the bird on his shoulder, then laughed and picked it up. "It is! Hey birdy!"

The bird chirped rapidly.

"You aren't going to try and eat it again, are you?" Usopp asked suspiciously as he squinted at his captain.

"Usopp!" Luffy gave the sniper a Look. With a capital 'L'. "That's sick! What's wrong with you?"

"ME?!" Usopp squawked indignantly. "You're the one that tried to eat him!"

Luffy looked stern. So did the bird. "You really should be grateful, Usopp. He saved our lives."

Usopp threw his arms in the air in defeat.

Luffy grinned at the bird he held and ruffled its feathered head with a finger. "I dunno why you helped us, but thanks, birdy."

The bird cooed contentedly, then abruptly started chirping and wiggled until Luffy released it. Both the captain and Usopp watched with confusion as the tiny bird started darting down the river, then back to them, then down the river again.

"You think... it wants us to follow it?" Usopp asked, brows drawn together in a confused frown.

"Uhh... Maybe." Luffy watched the bird's erratic flight for a moment more, then his face split into a grin and he grabbed Usopp's wrist to drag the sniper after the bird.

"Hey, wait! What are you doing?"

"We're following him!" Luffy said excitedly.

"What?" Usopp stared at Luffy like he was crazy. Which was probably accurate. "Why?"

"He knows where the Sunny is," Luffy said, and though Usopp opened his mouth to protest, he ended up closing it again. Luffy sounded so sure about this that Usopp just couldn't say anything at all.

So instead, the sniper gave a half-hearted eye roll and smiled as he ran after his captain who ran after the bird who had just saved them from a yeti.

What a day.

! ~ ;3 ~ !

Don't ask about "die of smush." XDDD I just... had to say it. No idea why. DON'TJUDGEME D:

:v Hope the yeti wasn't too anti-climactic for you guys. I wanted to get rid of him this way. XD Return of the river bird! Cue theme music. And I didn't wanna hurt my yeti. :C -pets him-  
And, er... I'm not sure where Brooke went. o_o I had intended to write him in but... it just... didn't happen. And I didn't wanna shoehorn him in there just for the sake of having him. :\  
Hope everyone was still in-character! I'm not too pleased with this chapter, but I've re-written it twice already, and this was the best result... Eh.

P.S. Hundreds of thank-you's to Jebba, SentimentalReality, BlueBallad and Hikari-Melanie for their support of this story. X3 You guys totally made my day. … Days? 8D You know what I mean. **-**hugs 4 all-

P.S.S. HOLY SNOT THIS CHAPTER WAS LONG! o^o Next chapter is the last!


	6. Chapter 6

Sunset over the winter island brought with it a brilliant display; the sky was streaked with orange and red and the white snow blanketing the ground reflected the colors beautifully. The dark, spindly trees were like stains on the landscape, but they only seemed to add to the effect, and the river that snaked across the island was black as ink cutting through the snow.

Neither of the figures currently running through this magnificent landscape cared though; the view was really the last thing they were interested in.

A blur of bright red streaked past frozen trees with a high-pitched chirp that was drawn into a shriek. Following closely behind it were two men in heavy winter coats, one smiling widely and laughing as he pulled the second along by the wrist he held. Both of them were running as fast as they could after the red bird now zipping through the thinning forest.

As night approached the temperature was dropping, but there was a good hour until full dark and the cold failed to effect either man. Whether it was from running or excitement was unknown, but again, no one really cared.

"Almost there," Luffy said for what must have been the hundredth time. His eyes tracked the bird as it darted and flitted a short distance ahead of them, a little red rocket easily seen against all the black and white.

Luffy finally released Usopp's wrist when the bird turned and flew up and over the crest of a hill. It was gone from view for a moment as the pirates started climbing the slope after it, but then the little flash of red appeared again, flying a tight pattern over the hill and waiting for the pirates to catch up.

"He seems excited," Usopp panted, digging his feet into the snow as he climbed quickly after his captain.

Luffy just grinned down at the sniper and then looked to the top of the hill again. He stumbled to his feet and stilled on the hill's crest, staring off into the distance.

Usopp grunted as he made it to the top of the hill, frowning at his captain. "What is it?"

Luffy's grin was quick and he pointed forward. "Look!"

Usopp blinked and then looked the way Luffy was pointing. His heart nearly stopped.

"The Sunny!" the sniper cried, never so glad to see the outline of their ship anchored very close to the shore. But his frozen excitement was short-lived as Luffy gave a shout of "Yosh!" and jumped off the crest of the hill.

Usopp made a startled sound and grabbed for the captain's coat, but his fingers missed by inches. Luffy hit the snow, rolled a few feet, then managed to right himself and set his feet with his knees bent. He started skidding down the steep slope at great speed, one hand clamped tightly over his hat to keep it in place. "Come on, Usopp!" he yelled back over his shoulder as he neared the bottom of the hill.

Usopp gaped after him in stunned silence, then snapped his mouth shut and squared his shoulders. "Coming!" If Luffy could do it, then so could he!

The sniper shifted his feet, took a steadying breath and leaped off the crest gracefully, prepared for his landing with one foot outstretched.

He hit the snow, tripped, and rolled the rest of the way downhill.

After dragging the dazed sniper to his feet, Luffy took off running toward the shoreline, arms waving above his head in greeting to the figures he could make out on the ship's lawn. Usopp was on his heels, and both of them shouted to the people on the ship at the tops of their lungs, their voices mixed with the rapid chirping of their feathered guide who flew in circles around them.

~ ;3 ~

"Where the hell were you guys?" Nami asked with a bewildered expression as she rushed out to meet the pair when they finally stumbled their way aboard, looking exhausted. She blinked in further confusion when Luffy and Usopp failed to respond and instead walked right past her. "Hey--"

Franky tried to get their attention as well, because Luffy was in serious need of a good chewing out, but the sniper and captain stepped around the shipwright just as they had the navigator. They even bypassed Brooke and Chopper when the two hurried up to meet them.

Sitting against the railing, Zoro watched in mounting confusion as his captain and the sniper marched up to him and paused by his outstretched legs. Then Luffy and Usopp each snagged one of the swordsman's arms and, ignoring his surprised shouts, pitched him right off the ship.

Neither of them moved until Zoro's fading yells were silence by a loud splash. Then they both nodded like all was right in the universe again and turned on the rest of their nakama with huge grins.

Everyone stared at them with open mouths, save for Robin, though she too looked surprised.

Franky decided maybe that wasn't the greatest time to bring up the demise of his cannon. Sanji was too busy trying to remember how to breathe after breaking into uncontrollable laughter when Zoro was flung off the ship.

"It was _so cool," _Luffy started, arms waving wildly. Chopper was already enthralled and he didn't even know what was happening yet. "We got hit by this giant snowball and we fell off a cliff and then there was this big monster and we fell off another cliff--"

"You're not telling it right!" Usopp interrupted. "It was a _yeti,_ not a _monster, _and I defeated it single-handedly with--"

"Why don't we all go inside and you can tell us the whole story after warming up a bit? Cook-san made hot chocolate," Robin offered in her usual calm tone, apparently recovering from recent events more quickly than the rest of the crew.

Luffy grinned and bounced in place, but then he remembered something. "Birdy!" He spun around abruptly and ran into Sanji, who was still by the railing. The cook's laughter died and he flailed his arms for balance, but ended up pitching over the railing anyway.

Everyone stared at the spot Sanji had previously occupied with identical blank expressions, listening to the cook's stream of curses before a resounding splash ended the tirade.

Zoro had managed to flail his way to the surface just as the cook fell off the ship. He looked up quickly at the sound of Sanji's voice and _tried_ to dive out of the way, but the cook fell too fast and landed right on the swordsman's head.

When both of them surfaced again they were trying to kill each other, so obviously they were fine.

"Should we...?" Brooke peered over the railing and looked concerned, despite not having facial features (Yohoho? No? Ahem.) but Nami waved a dismissive hand and turned to lead the way below. "They'll be fine."

Franky shrugged at Brooke, and then the entire group, including a red bird that had swooped in to perch on Luffy's shoulder, headed below deck and out of the cold.

Down in the frigid water, Zoro and Sanji continued trying to drown each other, and within the ship Usopp related his and Luffy's entire story, and he didn't even have to embellish it. Well, not too much, anyway.

~ ;3 ~

The little red bird was, shortly thereafter, released on a warm, tropical island with tons of food and lady birds. He was quite happy.

! ~ ;3 ~ !

THE ENDZ!! PARTAY! OH YEAH! WOO HOO. ….... Yeah.

XD The scene where Luffy and Usopp fling Zoro off the ship was actually in my head since I first started this story. REVENGE! My sister and beta then told me that Sanji had to take the plunge too, because, well, it was funny. 8D And see?! I remembered Brooke this time!! HA! -shot-

I had a blast writing this story. Thanks so much to everyone who supported it by leaving reviews or favoriting. Knowing people were reading it and actually _liked _it was like, awesome-fuel. XD It really helped me, all the way to the end.

8D I hope that whatever I write next lives up to your expectations, and thanks again!


End file.
